In a surprise development, the Bharatiya Janata Party has distanced itself from the BJP. At a Press Conference today, BJP spokesperson Some Bit Patro emphatically clarified that the party had nothing to do with what any leader from the BJP said, or did. When asked if it included Mr. Patro as well, he replied that it was complicated. Sources inside the party said it was a masterstroke that permanently distances itself from comments that may cause large scale communal conflagration or permanent loss of face, like when leaders speak their mind about minorities, Mahatma Gandhi, secularism or pretty much any topic under the sun.
Lauding the party’s new policy, eminent neutral journalist Abhijit Durantar tweeted “what a masterstroke. Amit bhai is truly Chanakya. Modiji ki jai”. He later distanced himself from his own tweet and said he was quite neutral actually. Zee News ran a full one hour program on the surprise development. Noted anchor Sudhir Laundry said this was very essential to ensure the security of the nation against external threats, and internal minorities. He also lamented that if he had used this strategy personally, that trip to Tihar could have been avoided. Zee News then proceeded to show a video showing BJP leader Sakshi Yuvraj talking about the weather. Zee said it was proof that allegations against Yuvraj – of having abused minorities- were utterly baseless
Meanwhile, in the BJP camp, there was jubilation. “We were tired of distancing ourselves when every leader uttered something totally in line with the party philosophy. We realised that we would eventually end up distancing ourselves against everyone in the party anyway. Now, we only need to distance ourselves once. Hahaha”, said sources.
“Can you please elaborate your statement?”, asked the Mano Na Mano correspondent. “What statement?” replied sources
Mano Na Mano 